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Chapter 34: A Spot in the Woods

The trio left the gallery and Frederic locked the door behind them. They were silent until they returned to the drawing room, Nikola felt as if Frederic and Alex were waiting for her to speak first, but she hardly knew where to start.

Once they returned to the drawing room, Nikola looked at Frederic and said, "I would like to see the pictures of my mother now, if that's all right. Anything else you have from her, too."

"Certainly, I'll go get them."

When Frederic left the room, Nikola collapsed into one of the couches. Alex sat down beside her and put his arm around her. He ran his hand over her hair and asked, "Are you all right?"

"Terribly confused. Nothing seems to be real. I feel like I can't trust anyone or anything. Are you really Alex, or is that just another alias?"

"I'm Alex Miller. I'm sorry I lied to you when we first met, but I had to. We're past that now. You know I'm a detective, you even heard it from the man who hired and fired me. I promise I'll never lie to you again. I'm on your side, Nikola. I love you and I won't let you get hurt." Alex continued to stroke her hair and kissed the side of her forehead. "Don't worry, if Frederic is lying, I'll do everything in my power to discover the truth, and I do have some experience in doing just that."

"Thank you. I hope I really can trust you, because I don't seem to have much choice. This is much too big for me to handle alone. I almost wish I'd never even come to this country. My life was so much simpler before."

"I don't think it'll ever be that simple again. But you'll know a lot more about where you came from. You'll have a family and origins."

"Unless everything he's saying is a lie."

"There must be local birth and death records in this town. At least some of the things we can look up."

Frederic walked in, holding an old carved silver box. "I'm afraid I don't have much from her, but there are a few pictures of her in here."

Nikola opened the box and found a collection of old photos and papers. Lying on top was a head shot of Didi, faded slightly but still very clear. Nikola studied it closely.

Alex leaned over towards Nikola to study the picture for himself. "Wow, the resemblance is amazing. I don't think there's any doubt that she's your mother."

"Yes, the resemblance is indeed remarkable," Frederic agreed. "Sometimes when I look at Nikola, I forget the years and think I'm looking at Didi. I think our wedding picture is in there too, and your birth certificate."

"Yes, I see it. It's in German, just like you said. My birthday is May 20th. Now I finally know when to celebrate. I always thought I was born some time in the Fall." Tears started forming in Nikola's eyes, "Why did you abandon me and make me go through this?" She couldn't stand to look at him anymore, let alone cry in front of him. She put aside the box, got up, and walked over to the large fireplace mantle. She turned towards it to hide her face and stared into the empty, blackened grates. She felt like a pawn in someone else's game, the rules of which she was not privy to.

"After your mother died, it was very difficult for me. I couldn't manage both you and my sister. It was all just too much for me."

"Surely you didn't have to abandon me. Didn't they have day care centers at that time? Or you could have hired a nanny. It looks like you have enough money for that."

"It was more complicated than that. There were people after me, and I was afraid that they would try to get to me through you." Frederic looked up, took a few steps forwards, his voice and gestures pleading, "I made some bad business decisions. I got myself into a terrible mess. I was afraid for your life. Giving you up was the last thing I wanted to do, but I had to."

"So, if your family was in so much danger, why didn't you send your sister away too?"

"I felt that I couldn't. My mother made me promise to take care of her, and I didn't think she would survive on her own. I didn't think she was in as much danger either."

"So you chose to keep your sister over me?" She turned back to face him, her eyes an accusation.

Frederic took a few steps towards Nikola with his hands out and an imploring look in his eyes. "No, it wasn't like that at all. If I could have done it any differently, believe me, I would have. Please forgive me."

As he walked over to Nikola, his hands outstretched, she held up her hand to stop him. "Please, I need time to think about all this. I've spent the last thirty years of my life believing that I have no family. This will take a while to sink in. I just have one last question."

"Anything."

"Do you have any idea who might be following me now or who might want to break into my apartment?"

"No. I read about it in the reports, and I was very concerned about you. Did he hurt you?"

"No and he didn't take anything. He seemed to be out to damage my new paintings."

"Oh my God, that's terrible. I'm very sorry to hear it, but I'm afraid I can't help you. I don't know who would want to hurt you now." Frederic turned away from Nikola and started to walk back towards the couch.

"Who were you afraid of when you left her?" Alex stepped in with his most professional demeanor.

Frederic looked up at Alex. "Some disreputable businessmen. I suspected that they may have been involved with organized crime. But they're all long gone, they died years ago. They couldn't hurt you now."

"Maybe their sons or something? If you could give me their names, I could look into it," Alex's tone and stance turned confrontational.

"I don't even remember their names to tell you the truth. My memory isn't what it used to be. I'm sorry. It wouldn't have gotten you anywhere, anyway." Frederic sidestepped Alex, slowly but gracefully, completely ignoring the implied challenge. 

Nikola found the masculine power struggle amusing, but wished that her father had answered the question. It would have added credibility to his story. However, she didn't have the strength to stick around for a confrontation between the two men. "We really must go," she interjected, "It's been a tiring day, and we have a long ride back."

"Of course, but please feel free to come back anytime. Here, let me give you my phone number."

Frederic scrawled his home number on a business card, reached out for her hand, placed it there, and continued to hold her hand, saying, "Please come back. Come back soon. I'm really sorry about everything and want to make it up to you. You are my daughter and I love you. I always have. I've thought about you constantly, and many times I've wanted to approach you, but I was afraid that you would reject me. I've been cursing myself constantly over the years for what I've done, and know that I can never make it up to you, but please find it in your heart to forgive me. You would make this old man very happy." He looked into her eyes and smiled, his eyes watery, "I'm very proud of you Nikola. Every time I read about you or see one of your exhibitions, I wonder at what an amazing young woman you've become. I know your mother would have been very proud of you too. Please agree to see me again. I really want to get to know who you've become. I want to hear about your life, to see where you live, and your new artwork, to meet your friends..."

With the mention of her new artwork, Nikola's defenses sprang to the forefront once again, overriding the glow of receiving unconditional, familial love that she had let herself entertain momentarily. She extricated her hands from Frederic's and said, "I'll need some time. This is all so new to me. I need time to absorb it all and sort out my feelings."

"Of course. Take all the time you need." Frederic stepped back from Nikola, and she saw something in his face close, as if the emotional outburst from a moment before had never happened, or was something he regretted. "I am always here if you need me," was all he added.

"Thank you," Nikola replied, and then asked, "Would you mind if we wandered around the grounds for a few minutes before we left? It's so beautiful here after being cooped up in the city..."

"Of course, make yourself at home. After all, this is your home too." Nikola and Frederic exchanged a smile before Nikola and Alex departed. She wanted more than ever to like the old man, but had very mixed feelings. 
When they walked out of the building, Nikola started to head straight over towards where she felt the secret hiding place should be, based on her dreams. Alex grabbed her arm and held her back. He drew her to him and said in a low voice, "They're probably watching us. Let's wander aimlessly for a while."

"You think they're watching us?"

"I'd bet my life on it."

"So what should we do?"

"Just wander for a bit. Act as if you were admiring the grounds. Eventually we'll wander into the woods and find whatever you were headed for. If it even exists, that is."

"How do you know I'm headed for anything?"

"The way you were walking. The way you were staring into the woods."

"Am I so transparent?"

"I'm a professional at watching people, and I've gotten pretty good at guessing their intentions. I seem to remember a painting of a small clearing in the forest, with benches or something. Could that have anything to do with what you're looking for?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm looking for. And I hope I can find it from anywhere in these woods, because apparently, I'll have to." Nikola looked from Alex to the mass of trees beside them and wondered what else they hid.

"I have faith in you."

They wandered along the edge of the woods for a while, examining the cleared area to their left, which encompassed about two acres including the house. It was mostly lawn with a good scattering of trees in front of the house, and a small vegetable garden behind. Once they had walked most of the length of the lawn, and were a fair distance from the house, they entered the woods. The trees were not nearly as thick as they looked from the outside, and vaguely divided by overgrown, hardly recognizable, paths.

"Does this look familiar?" Alex asked when they entered the woods.

"No, not really, but I have a sense of which direction to take. Do you think we're still being watched?"

"To watch us in here, they'd have to send someone out, and I don't see or hear anyone, so we're probably safe. But we should still be careful."

"I hate to be so suspicious of my own father. For so long, I would have done anything for a family. I feel like I should appreciate him more."

"He certainly didn't come off as trustworthy, and, don't forget, he neglected you for almost thirty years. I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about."

"I guess."

"I noticed that you didn't tell him anything about the other nightmares."

"No, at the last minute I decided not to. He was asking too many questions about my memory. I was getting nervous."

"I think it was good that you didn't. We should try to figure out what they mean first. They might even help us understand what's going on here."

"That would be nice, but I doubt it. They're very surrealistic. Often it's hard to figure out what's really going on during the dreams. I'm sure they're heavily colored by my imagination."

"They led us to this house."

"That's true. Who'd have thought..." Her voice trailed off as she analyzed a fork in the path they were on. Until now, she had been navigating through the maze of paths without hesitation. It didn't take her long to make up her mind.

"Is anything getting more familiar?"

"Not exactly, but I seem to know where to go. It's kind of weird, really, as if I was being guided by some unseen force." After a few more minutes of walking, Nikola stopped in front of a large cluster of trees and underbrush. It looked like a dense, continuous, mass of foliage from where they stood. "According to the dreams, it should be here."

"Where?"

"Inside these bushes."

"This looks pretty solid."

"I'm getting my directions from a dream, Alex, I could be totally wrong."

"I hope you're not, because I don't want to walk into a hornet's nest. I'll go first. You wait here."

"Absolutely not. I'm right behind you."

The two of them stooped down to get below the thickest growth and ventured in. They didn't have to go far before they could straighten up again.

Nikola gasped as she looked around the clearing for the first time. She was surrounded on all sides by tall trees. Their branches formed a canopy over her head with a small circular center of sky in the middle. The sides of the clearing were covered with vines, and they stood upon a thick carpet of leaves and moss. "This is it," she whispered. "The secret place from my dream."

"It looks just like an ordinary clearing."

"Look, look behind these vines, the furniture and everything's still here." Nikola walked along the clearing and parted a section of the vines, as one would a curtain, to reveal ancient wrought-iron lawn furniture covered with a thick layer of rust. 

Alex walked over to her, knelt down and ran his hands over a chair she had revealed. "It's still very sturdy. What was this place?"

"Everything's still here," Nikola whispered. "You can see it from the shapes of the vines. There are two more chairs over there, a bench in that corner, and a table over there." She gestured around the clearing as she spoke, pointing to shapes in the growth. Alex walked the circumference of the clearing, parting vines, to reveal exactly the furniture she mentioned. Nikola watched, knowing what he would reveal, yet still astonished.

When he returned to her side, she whispered, "I can't believe it's real."

He put his hands on her arms, took a quick, but thorough, glance around, and said, "Let's go."

"No, I want to stay. This place was mine, I can feel it. This place was good for me. I want to stay longer and absorb its ambiance. It could even bring back more memories."

"We've been here long enough. They will send someone out to look for us soon, and, on the off chance that they haven't found this place yet, we don't necessarily want them to find it now. Don't worry, we'll be back. I have a feeling that there's a lot more to learn here."

"All right, if you insist. But I must come back here again."

"You will."

He walked quickly back through the forest, pulling Nikola along by the hand. His grip was strong, almost hurting her, but she followed him silently. The stern, determined look on his face invited no further communication.
His pace eased significantly when they returned to the lawn surrounding the house. As soon as they emerged from the cover of the forest, he walked leisurely, dropped her hand and was chatting about the foliage they passed.
Nikola matched his leisurely pace while they walked, more or less directly, to the car.

She felt somewhat relieved once they were in the car and on their way out. She sat back in the passenger's seat, laid her head on the head-rest, and closed her eyes.

"You okay?" Alex asked.

"I'll survive."

Alex drove into the center of town and stopped in front of the town hall. "I want to check on those records before we leave. It shouldn't take too long."

"I'll wait in the car," Nikola replied, hardly opening her eyes.

Alex returned a few moments later, got in the car and slammed the door. Nikola opened her eyes wide, faced him and saw a look of annoyance. "What did you learn?"

"Nothing. They were closing up and wouldn't help me. I'll come back on Monday."

"Do you think he was telling the truth?" she asked quietly.

"I think he is your father, and that woman in the pictures was obviously your mother, but he also seemed to be hiding something."

"Yes, I got that feeling too, but what?"

"I think he knows more about whoever is threatening you than he let on. I don't care how old he is, I find it very hard to believe that he forgot the names of the people who were after him, and can still remember all that other stuff he told us. If that was serious enough for him to give up his daughter, you'd think he couldn't forget who it was. Even if he forgot the names, you'd think that he would have it written down somewhere or have some kind of documentation on it."

"I agree. It seemed suspicious from the moment he started talking about it. He doesn't seem to be a very good liar. Unless, of course, everything he told us was a lie, but he did have the pictures and birth certificate."

"Yeah, I'd say he's definitely your father."

"I never imagined that I came from a wealthy background. That makes it so much harder in a way. If he was poor, I could understand it more. You'd think with his money, he'd have the kind of resources such that he would never have to abandon a child."

"He's definitely hiding something. We just have to find out what it is."

They didn't say much more on the way back to Nikola's apartment, both lost in their own thoughts. Nikola stared out at the side of the highway flashing past them, and tried to make some sense of it all. Her father's face, images from the story he told, and what she imagined his life to be like with her mother, were interspersed with the house, the secret place, and scenes from her dreams. Looming over it all was a dark presence, a half-explained reason for giving her up, obvious inconsistencies in her father's story, and her present predicament. 

Nikola wanted to love her father, but began to wonder if she was even capable of the emotion, and went so far as to question its very existence. The more she thought about it, the more her mind focused in on the unexplained, until it had refined the scenes into a series of questions. Who were the people who so threatened him and where were they now? What was he not telling her? What happened at the top of the stairs? Why was anyone still after her and who were they? He had hired a detective before, why wouldn't he do so again? How could she possibly even try to love someone she couldn't believe in? The endless unanswerable questions aggravated her and did nothing to help her understand and absorb all the revelations of the past day. She tried to step back and look at the overall picture, but it was too much to grasp at once, so her mind went back to replaying individual scenes.

Once they arrived at her apartment, their dinner was a take-out pizza, eaten silently in the living room area. Nikola was numb. Glimpses of the past few days continued to flash through her mind, disturbingly becoming incoherent fragments of disjointed events. She just wanted to escape into sleep, as frightening as that could be, but possibly it could also give her more insight.

Alex, however, was much more energetic. When they finished eating, he started pacing and planning. Nikola tried to concentrate on what he was saying, glad for the distraction.

"I know that you have mixed feelings about me, and there's not really much I can do about that now except try to prove myself through my actions. Whether you believe me or not, I really do care about you, and have your best interests in mind." When Nikola opened her mouth to reply, he added, "Don't say anything, just hear me out.

"I want to actively pursue a conclusion to every loose end, and keep you safe. I don't want you to be alone, especially not at night, and not here. I propose to sleep on your couch. I assure you, attractive as you are to me, that I will not approach you romantically unless you indicate a desire for me to do so. If you don't trust me, then I recommend you stay with Eddie. Whatever is going on here is not over and I want to be on the front lines when and if that intruder returns.

"Secondly, this apartment is a perfect location from which to continue investigating the gallery. I would like to bug Martha's office and phone, and we're close enough here to pick up the signal. I'm planning to go to the gallery tomorrow, as Greg Richards of course, on the pretext of gathering transparencies of your paintings for the magazine article, and I'll plant the devices."

"You mean you want to help with the gallery investigation?"

"Yes, of course. I want to tie up all the loose ends."

"So what's your connection with Martha?" Nikola leaned forward, now fully focused on what they were discussing.

"My only interaction with her was when I introduced myself as a reporter and asked to interview you. As far as I know, that's all she knows about me."

"You think you can bug her office without her noticing?"

"No problem. I've done that kind of thing before, many times."

Nikola examined Alex. He looked less like Erik now. It was as if her discoveries about his true identity had somehow changed the cast of his face. As if its angles had suddenly grown sharper, making it appear more serious and harder. He looked less sensitive and more like a total stranger, but this stranger was taking on dimensions of his own. He had a plan, which was more than she had, and she could see no harm in cooperating with him. She didn't want to spend the night alone here and she didn't have the energy to move, so she was ready to agree to almost anything that sounded like it was headed in the right direction. "Fine. Do what you want. I'm going to bed. Please do not disturb me."

Before going to sleep, she locked the bedroom door and barricaded it with a high backed chair. She doubted that it would keep him out if he was determined, but it made her feel better anyway. At least this way he would have to make some noise to get in.

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