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Chapter 32: A Step Inside

A very proper-looking butler answered the door with, "Yes? May I help you?"

"We would like to speak to the owner please," Alex answered.

"Whom shall I say is calling?"

"My name is Greg Richards, and we're here from Perceptions magazine. We're doing an article on this area and we have some questions about the history of this house."

"One moment please. Wait here." The butler closed the door again. Nikola's ears rang with the names Greg Richards and Perceptions, while her vision swam over the house. She glanced at Alex apprehensively, which he returned with a smile and nod. He seemed completely at ease, as if he was more comfortable with deception than truth. It made Nikola shudder.

They didn't have to wait long before the butler returned. He let them in and closed the door behind them. They found themselves in a very elegant, although somewhat dark, atrium. Scattered throughout the atrium were statues, apparently figures, but they were hard to make out in the dim light. To their right was a long, carpeted stairway, leading up to the second floor balcony. The balcony ran across the width of the atrium, set back from where they stood and at least twelve feet above them. Below it were a series of small doors, that appeared to lead to the back of the first floor. On either side of them were several sets of double doors, all closed. The only source of light in the space was a large, but dirty, circular skylight that cast an eerie and shadowy glow over the entire expanse. 

Nikola hardly noticed the butler while she examined the space behind him. Because of the change of perspective and lighting, it took Nikola a few moments to recognize the scene, but there it was: the stage set for the nightmare depicting her death, complete with the staircase that killed her. Her desire to run out of the house increased, now fueled by the fear of living out that nightmare, but she didn't move. She would rather face the risk than live with constant fear.

The butler led them to a set of double doors on their left and swung them open. Light streamed in from the room beyond, cutting through the darkness. The contrast startled Nikola, causing her to blink several times before her eyes adjusted. Inside was a large room that fit Nikola's impression of what an old fashioned drawing room might be like. There were full-length, French doors and windows covering two sides of the room, providing a panoramic view of the lawn. The curtains were pulled back, allowing sunlight to fully illuminate the space.

"Please wait here. Mr. Carlson will see you shortly," the butler said as he left, closing the doors behind him.

Throughout the room were clusters of tables and chairs in different arrangements. In the center were a pair of antique couches, facing each other with a coffee table between them, flanked on either side by armchairs. Scattered throughout the rest of the room were additional armchairs and end-tables, one larger table with four chairs around it, and, in the back corner, an impressive oak desk and leather desk chair. The furniture was all antique, intricately carved and made from a heavy, dark-colored wood. The walls were covered with books and paintings, also antique by Nikola's standards, mostly portraits. Nikola felt as if she had entered another century.

At first glance, the room was somewhat intimidating with its air of Old World elegance, but, on closer inspection, Nikola noticed that everything in it looked a bit more worn than one would have expected on such an estate. Nikola was certain that it was cleaned regularly, on a schedule, but the room didn't seem really cared for, as if it was presenting a ghost of a former, livelier past.

While Nikola stood in the center of the room, taking it all in, Alex immediately walked over to the desk and began to inspect the papers upon it as closely as possible without disturbing them. However, neither of them had much time for their observations. They had not been alone long before an elderly and distinguishably dressed gentleman entered the room.

He came in through the double doors and glanced at both of his visitors, before concentrating solely on Nikola. He smiled and began to cross the room towards her, but he was intercepted by Alex before he reached her.

"Hello, my name is Greg Richards," Alex said as he held out his hand, "We're here to..."

"Don't lie to me," the man interrupted and pushed Alex out of his way gently with a light hand on the side of his arm. "I know who you are, and I'm not sure how you found me, but I suppose it was inevitable. Thank you for bringing Nikola." Although he was speaking to Alex, he kept his eyes fixed on Nikola, and she had hers on his. She couldn't pull her eyes away, as if he were magically pulling her in. He was obviously a player in all of this, but the nature of the game and his role in it were as illusive as ever. His eyes sparkled, but were ringed with lines of weariness and defeat, as if he was also one of the game's victims.

Alex just stared at the man blankly. He stopped in his tracks and watched the man's slow progression towards Nikola, poised as if ready to jump at a moment's notice.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Nikola asked.

"You don't recognize me?"

"No, should I?"

"I had heard that the memory of your early years was gone. It is a pity," he said with a deep sigh. "But perhaps it is for the best." He approached her and put his hands around her face. She looked up at him, completely calm. She was not afraid of him, although she felt as if maybe she should be.  "My name is Frederic Carlson and I am your father, Nikola. I am glad that you have finally come home."

Nikola stared into the face of the stranger in front of her, unable to believe what she had just heard. The man before her was nothing like the tall, blonde prince that she had always pictured her father to be. He was only a few inches taller than her, with a tan skin and dark hair and eyes. His face was covered with wrinkles and worry lines, making him look ancient. Nikola felt that his was a kind face, and she instinctively trusted him, but at the same time she held herself back. She could extend her trust only so far after her childhood of abandonment - she always braced herself to be hurt again. And now, instead of rejoicing at finding her heritage, she found herself full of questions that demanded answers.

Nikola stepped back. She needed to break the physical contact with the man claiming to be her father, in order to regain her composure. She also wanted to get a better look at him. He didn't look like the type to abandon a child, but Nikola didn't really know what that type would look like anyway. She had so many questions that she didn't know where to begin. Finally, she began with her surroundings, which seemed as good a place as any. "I take it that I've been in this house before."

"Of course, don't you recognize it? You spent most of the first seven years of your life here."

"And I'm a Carlson?"

"Yes dear, and the most beautiful Carlson we have ever seen. You are more beautiful even than your mother - I didn't think it possible."

"But the German... Why Germany? I've grown up I believing I was German, but Carlson isn't a German name..."

"Your mother was German, and, well, I knew I had to take you far away. It seemed the right thing to do at the time."

"How could abandoning your daughter in a foreign orphanage seem like the right thing to do?" Nikola almost regretted the question when she heard the anger in it. But she had to admit that part of her was very angry. To find a man claiming to be her father who was obviously well off and seemed healthy, shocked her. For most of her childhood she had imagined her parents dead because she could not fathom anything else that would justify abandoning a child. Or had her worst fears been right? Had she driven them away?

"It's a long story, and not a very happy one. I'm sorry Nikola for any pain it may have caused you. It was a very difficult decision for me and I didn't make it lightly. But I don't want to talk about such things now. Let us start with more cheerful subjects, I'm sure you have many questions for me. And you both look like you could use some food. I'll order lunch for us."

Before either of them could answer, Frederic turned around and slowly left the room. Nikola stood staring after him, numb. She didn't know what to make of it all. Next to her, she was aware of Alex, being very attentive. She still didn't know what to make of him, either. Here she was, between two men she wanted to, but couldn't, trust; and she felt more lost than ever. She sat down on the couch, trying to let some of it soak in.

"How are you doing?" Alex asked as he sat down beside her.

"I'm okay, I guess. A little confused, perhaps. I never expected anything like this - it all seems terribly unreal."

"Don't worry, I won't let anyone hurt you." 

"That's a very gallant thing to say, but rather empty considering how much you've hurt me already."

"I had no choice."

"You could have come clean with me at any time. As soon as we got involved would have been a good time. Instead you let me find out on my own. Were you ever planning to tell me? Or was the whole relationship part of your spying operation?"

"You know better than that. I let you read the reports. I never put any personal information in them..."

"I don't want to talk about it now. I have other, more important things on my mind." Nikola let her head fall into her hands, and stared down at the ornamental rug below her.

"Be careful of him. I don't trust him."

"You're a fine one to talk."

"He knows too much. He seems to know who I am. He's probably involved with whoever hired me. He's very cagey. I'm sure he'll tell you stories, but I wouldn't count on him to tell you the whole truth."

"Stop it!" Nikola looked up at Alex and couldn't help raising her voice. "You're putting him down to justify yourself and it won't work. As for him, I'm a grown woman and can take care of myself. After all, I've been doing it for the past thirty-five years, there's no reason I should stop now."

"I'm just trying to give you some friendly advice..."

"Look. Don't ruin this for me. All my life I've been looking for a heritage and now that I've found something, I'd like to enjoy the moment without you voicing your petty grievances. So just shut up!"

Alex listened to what she had to say with a hurt expression on his face that Nikola was sure he faked. She could tell that he was formulating a response, but she was saved from hearing it by Frederic's return.

"Lunch will be ready shortly. I hope you're both hungry." 

"Thank you, that would be wonderful. We haven't eaten in a while," Nikola responded with a smile. "In the mean time, tell me about yourself and my mother."

"I wish you remembered your mother. She was a beautiful and wonderful woman - the best I've ever known. I never did believe that I deserved her, maybe that's why God chose to take her away from me after such a short time. The six years I spent with her were the best of my life. I think of her almost every day." He talked slowly and looked into his lap. Nikola thought she saw his eyes water when he spoke of her mother, but he kept his head down, hiding them from her.

"Do you have any pictures of her?" Nikola asked. 

"Yes. They're in the safe upstairs. I'll get them after lunch." Frederic looked up and appeared to cheer up.

"You keep them in a safe?" Alex asked, ignoring Nikola's disapproving look. 

"I didn't want anything to happen to them. I only have a few left."

"Where did you meet?" Nikola asked.

"I met her on a trip to Germany. I fell in love with her immediately, and we were married three months later. I don't know what she saw in me, but I was too happy with her to ask any questions. That whole trip was like a fairy tale - it seems almost unreal now, looking back on it."

"Tell me about it. I want to know everything." Nikola leaned forward in her seat.

Before he could continue his story, the butler interrupted them for lunch. Nikola and Alex followed Frederic from the drawing room, across the atrium, into a huge dining room that was equipped with a table which could easily seat twenty. The three of them all sat at one end, with Frederic at the head of the table and Nikola and Alex on either side of him. The butler presented them with wine and a five course lunch. Nikola hardly noticed the food, her attention was closely fixed on her father and what he had to say. She could hardly believe that she had a family, let alone that she would finally hear their story.

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