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Chapter 12: Eddie's Party

Once she could tear herself away from the newest nightmare painting, Nikola was glad to get out of her studio. She was also curious about Eddie's home and paintings. Eddie's apartment was only a few blocks away in a large building on Broadway. It housed both commercial and residential tenants and seemed almost luxurious when compared to Nikola's building. It was several decades younger, well-maintained, and equipped with a staffed security desk, as well as two reliable elevators.

Eddie's apartment was on the fourteenth, and top, floor. When Nikola exited the elevator, she was surprised to see that most of the building's tenants were commercial: predominantly galleries and other art-related businesses. She found Eddie's door towards the end of the crooked hallway, almost hidden behind a large sign for the printing shop next to it.

Nikola's eyes widened when she first entered the apartment and saw an explosion of color and paint. It was the visual equivalent of listening to an orchestra tuning up. Everything in the large studio apartment seemed to be covered with a layer of brightly colored paint. The walls were laden with paintings, covering almost every inch of available space, and most of the furniture was also painted in Eddie's expressive and colorful style. Paint-splattered drop cloths covered most of the hardwood floor. Nikola took a few moments to visually sort through the jumble, but she could find little organization behind the chaos. Even the furniture arrangement seemed chaotic. One corner of the apartment was clearly designated for sleeping, but most of the rest of it was free-form studio/living space, with the exception of the long narrow kitchen, in a separate room off to one side.

"This is quite an apartment," Nikola said once she was able to orient herself.

"Yeah, I can't help myself. I'm always painting every available surface. I suppose eventually I should coordinate it all so it isn't such a mess. What do you think?" Eddie asked, as if anxious for Nikola's approval.

"It could stand to be toned-down a bit, but it's an interesting effect. I'll have to look at the individual paintings more closely when I get a chance."

"Help yourself. I'd like to hear what you think of them. You're one of the few artist I know who can support themselves through their art, so I'm sure you have a good eye."

"That doesn't mean anything. You have to paint for yourself."

"I know that, but I want to hear your opinion anyway. Go ahead."

Nikola perused the paintings which were displayed salon style, one atop another, covering the walls. "I like them. They're very bold and adventurous. You have quite a flair."

"Do you really think so?"

"Definitely. I like the Expressionism/Surrealism mix here. It's refreshing."

"Refreshing? That sounds like a word you'd use to describe a soda, not an artwork."

"Your work's very uplifting, so I thought the description fit."

"But that makes it sound so trivial. Do you think they should be more somber?"

"No, not at all. They're wonderful. The fact that an artwork is depressing does not in and of itself imbue it with meaning."

"I know, but I'm not so sure that everyone else does."

"I know what you mean, but stick to what you believe in. It's really the only thing we have as artists." Nikola paused to give Eddie's paintings one last look before continuing, "You have a unique and exciting style. I like what you've done so far and I'm looking forward to seeing what you'll do in the future."

"Thank you, your opinion means a lot to me."

"The only opinion you should really respect is your own, but I know how difficult that is. It's nice to get outside encouragement."

"Without it, sometimes I feel like I'm working in a vacuum. Especially here, living alone."

"Do you like living here?"

"It's not bad. I certainly can't complain. Normally I wouldn't be able to afford it, but my parents own the apartment. They bought it for me when I got accepted to the gallery. I guess it was a kind of congratulatory present, and I took it as a sign that they are finally taking my art seriously. Until then, they were hoping I'd give it up and go into something I'm guaranteed to make a living at."

"You're lucky to have parents who can support you."

"I guess, but sometimes I think I'd be better off if I had to fend for myself. I think I'd work harder. Besides, artists are supposed to starve. It's the whole romantic image."

"There's nothing romantic about starving, and it's not easy to concentrate on painting when your stomach is growling. Plus, if you can't pay your rent, you have no place to paint - or even to store the paintings you've already done," Nikola snapped, her voice rising, "That romantic image neglects to mention the artists who die or get sick from living in drafty, cold water flats with no real food."

"Sorry, forget I even mentioned it," Eddie replied, backing off.

"You have no idea what you have. Your family is obviously very supportive, and you should appreciate that. As an artist, you need every break you can get. I would've given almost anything to have a family like yours."

"It's not all love and roses. When you decided to be an artist, there was no one there to tell you different. You didn't have to fight for the right to decide your own future. To argue night after night at the dinner table with a god-damn insurance company VP who only understands money and security."

"I didn't have to argue about being an artist because there was no one on the planet who cared whether I lived or died. You'll never know that kind of isolation."

"But you had freedom, Nikola. I'm jealous of that. I'm totally bogged down by middle class ideas and values and a middle-class concept of the world which I constantly have to fight. And I always feel like I can never quite overcome that. I'm standing here in Soho, but I feel like I'm only pretending to be an artist. You, on the other hand, are totally artist. Your whole life, your lifestyle, your background, everything. I'm so jealous of you."

"How can you possibly be jealous of me? I'm an orphan. I started out with absolutely nothing. You don't know what you're saying. I have no background, no family, and few real friends. I've spent a great deal of time completely miserable over this. You don't know what it's like to be growing up in an alien world that doesn't want you. That's the way it's always been for me. I'm thirty-five years old and I'm still searching for Mom and Dad. For the rest of my life, I'll be searching for my heritage, and I'll probably never find it. Nothing can ever fill the huge gaping hole where a family should be. You don't know how lucky you are, to have parents that care about you, that took care of you, or to have parents period. To know who you are, and how you fit into the world."

"Well, then, you should look for them. You told me before that you might very well be American. Why don't you look for your parents?"

"It's not so easy. I have no idea where to start. I was left for the orphanage with an anonymous cash donation. Whoever abandoned me left no clues behind. I wasn't even wearing any jewelry, nothing. There's nothing to go on. Obviously, my parents didn't want me, and wanted to be sure that I never found them. I mean, all my childhood I kept hoping and praying that they would come back. I made all kinds of crazy stories to explain the fact that they weren't around. For a while, I imagined them as royalty. I had an elaborate story about how they were kidnapped by enemy spies, and had managed to get me to safety, in the form of St. Mary's, in the nick of time. I expected them to come get me just as soon as they escaped their captors. Whenever I saw a picture of a castle, I'd study it, hoping it would spark a memory.

"Another time, when I was a little older, I imagined them as bohemian artists, immensely talented, but impoverished, having given the last of their money to St. Mary's in that envelope they left with me, waiting to be recognized, so that they would have the money to feed themselves and reclaim me. I could see them in an attic in Paris, painting feverishly despite hunger and cold. I would pray to them and beg them to pick me up, regardless of their conditions. I swore that I didn't need food or heat and was prepared to live in the worst garret just to be with them.

"But my prayers were never answered, and as I got older, my hopes of ever seeing my parents slowly diminished. I finally came to the conclusion that they must both be dead, because I couldn't find any other reason that they hadn't come back to pick me up. But a part of me always felt like they didn't come back because they didn't want me, because I wasn't really worthy of them. I guess I've always felt like there was some defect in my character that drove them away, and kept them away, but I can't think like that because it makes me crazy.

"When I first got out of the University, I did everything I could to find out more about my heritage. But it was impossible because I had nothing to work with. And that's where I still stand today, stuck in a world that I don't really know how I fit into. At times it got so I couldn't tell fantasy from reality because I spent so much of my childhood living in a fantasy world."

"I'm sorry Nikola, I didn't know. How could I? But look at you now. You're the quintessential artist. You're so, so... I don't know how to describe it, but everyone who looks at your paintings knows. When I look at your paintings, I know why you're making a living off of them and I'm not. There's so much depth to them. They have so much feeling in them."

"But Eddie the depth you see there is not joyous depth. It's the depth of isolation and loneliness. It's almost desperation."

"Yes, but it's depth. Look at me, hard as I try, I know part of me will always be a middle-class Connecticut kid. I grew up that way and can never totally shake it. I mean, I love my family and all, but I can't live like that. I'm not like them, no matter how much they think I am, but I still grew up with that kind of background. That's why I'm so mixed-up. I can never come to a stable balance. That's why everything here is so painted. That's why I can't organize myself or hold myself down, or, like, stick to one man. It's because I feel like I constantly have to push and fight, to burn and destroy anything that even remotely feels like stability or reminds me of that background."

Nikola laughed. "I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it? All my life I've been praying for a family and I never expected to hear anyone say that they wish they didn't have one. It does make the whole thing seem quite silly, doesn't it? But take my advice, hold onto them, and this condo, and appreciate it. There's enough misery and suffering in life. You should enjoy every bit of pleasure that you can."

"All right Nikola, I can live by that rule. And speaking of pleasure, let's set things up for this party."

"Sure. Tell me what to do."

"Well I usually set up a table in that corner with liquor, and I move another table over to there for food," Eddie said as she pointed to various corners of the apartment. "A lot of people bring stuff, too. It's pretty much a help yourself kind of situation, so there isn't too much setup. I suppose I should do a little cleaning, though," Eddie said as she glanced around the apartment. "All the liquor and food is in bags on the couch over there. Why don't you start setting them up while I try to get this place to look less like a pig sty."

"Sure."

"I wanted to let you know that Alan's coming. I invited him before Donna found Marty's journal or any of that came up. Since then, I've had second thoughts about it, I mean, don't you think we'll be kind of uncomfortable given our suspicions? I'm sure I'll be nervous around him, and worried that he'll report something to Martha, or misinterpret something I say. But I couldn't very well uninvite him."

"Don't worry. It's for the best. I said I was going to get to know him a little better, and this is the perfect forum for it. He'll never be suspicious if I start asking him questions here."

"Are you sure you want to do this, Nikola? He's a pretty weird guy. And if what Donna suspects is right..."

"Someone has to do it and I'm perfect for the job. In addition, I think it'll be rather exciting."

"Just the thought of it is exciting. I almost wish it were me, but Alan's never paid any attention to me, so that would never work. He's shown a clear preference for you, and I can see why. You're a beautiful woman."

"Not at all. As for Alan, I did notice that he was flirting with me quite heavily the night of the reception. I just thought he did that with all the women."

"A little, but not like that. He definitely treats you special, you should have him eating out of your hand in no time," Eddie said as she cleared off a corner of the room for dancing.

The first guest arrived at nine-thirty. A very tall, slender, pleasant looking man came in and greeted Eddie with a long slow kiss, the type usually exchanged by lovers. Nikola looked away, amused and slightly embarrassed. She wondered what kind of relationship existed between these two. Eddie hadn't mentioned anything.

After the kiss, Eddie introduced him with, "Nikola, this gorgeous hunk you see before you is Tom, also an artist, but he's affiliated with one of our competitors, so watch out."

"Pleased to meet you," Tom said to Nikola. He then turned back to Eddie with, "I hope I'm not too early for this shin dig."

"No, not at all. I'm ready to party, so everybody else is late."

"Well, what do you expect from creative types? Punctuality is not one of our strong points."

"It doesn't matter anyway, we don't need them. Do either of you want a drink?" Eddie asked.

"Let's start with this," Tom said, handing Eddie the bag he brought in.

"It's champagne!"

"I sold a painting yesterday."

"Congratulations!" Eddie said as she took the bag. "So the slump is over."

"I certainly hope so."

Eddie put the champagne down on the table and said, "Let me get some nice glasses. I don't want to use plastic cups for this."

Tom picked up one of the bottles and opened it with a loud pop and a small champagne fountain. Eddie ran over with a glass, laughing, but only caught the end of the fountain. The three of them toasted Tom's sale and sat down together on the couch. They had hardly been sitting five minutes when the doorbell rang again.

Three men and one woman entered, none of whom Nikola recognized. Eddie introduced them quickly, so quickly that Nikola forgot their names as soon as Eddie said them. They obviously knew Tom already and settled into a discussion about a mutual friend, a sculptor who was selected for the Venice Biennial, a prestigious international art exhibition. While they dissected the politics around his nomination, Eddie continued to greet incoming guests, and Nikola felt removed from the conversations around her. She stood up and wandered the room, finally settling on a kitchen stool in a corner by the door, where she had a good view of the entire apartment. There was a deceptively slow, but steady, flow of people arriving, and the small apartment filled up faster than Nikola had expected.

Donna and Brian arrived around ten, and greeted Nikola briefly before seeking out their hostess. Nikola couldn't help but notice how close they seemed, as if the relationship had been in place much longer than the three weeks since Marty's death. Nikola watched them walk away, Brian's hand protectively resting on Donna's shoulders, and wondered about it until she was interrupted by George, who entered with a few of the other Vermes gallery artists.

"My dear Nikola," he said, picking up her hand and kissing it, "How have you been? It's quite a pleasure to see you again."

"Fine, thank you. And you?"

"Oh, I can't complain. And I hope you had favorable results from the reception?"

"Nothing yet, but I do have a few prospects," Nikola replied, looking back at George who was still staring intently into her eyes, as he had been doing since he approached her. She suspected that he was working his way up to a question that she didn't want to answer so she decided that it was time to move, even if it did mean giving up her seat with it's excellent perspective. She made the excuse of needing a refill on her drink, jumped down from the stool, and made her way into the crowd. 

The inner core of the party had livened up quite a bit since she had last noticed it, and she almost got lost in the sea of loud music and unfamiliar faces. In the far corner a number of people were dancing, expanding the dance floor as required, both by moving furniture and spilling out around it. The atmosphere was infectious. Nikola felt herself being carried along on the edge of the dancers, to the bar table and back, moving in rhythm with the music, but not totally committing herself to the dance. At the center of the floor she spotted Eddie, who was dancing with her hair flying, her mouth open with laughter, and her body a slave to the music. I wish I knew how to let go like that, Nikola thought, jealous of Eddie's uncanny ability to enjoy herself and infectiously spread laughter to those around her. Nikola could never completely shake her perspective on reality - which always included thoughts of where she was going and what she had to do next. In the past, that attitude had been necessary for her survival, but Nikola wondered if it was almost to big a price to pay.

Alan arrived shortly after eleven and Nikola spotted him as soon as he entered, which was not difficult since he stood a head above most of the crowd. He caught Nikola's eye almost immediately, and was at her side moments later.

With her new suspcions, Nikola felt even more uneasy around him, but she swallowed her reaction and attempted to appear interested. She looked up at Alan, put on her sweetest smile and said, "Hello Alan, it's nice to see you again."

"Well, hello, Nikola," he replied, returning the smile. "You look very beautiful today."

"Thank you. I see Eddie throws a very good party."

"She always does. They're always very well attended because they last all night long and anything can happen."

"I'm looking forward to this."

Nikola sipped her wine and glanced over to the dance floor, which had simmered down a bit in accordance with the music. There was an awkward moment of silence between them, until he broke it with, "I wasn't at her last party, but I've heard that everyone stripped and they had a long body painting session during it."

"That must have been interesting. Is that a frequent event at her parties?"

"There's always something different. Sometimes it's an excursion outside, and other times it's centered around some new game or curiosity that someone brought in. And every so often it's just a regular, great all-night party."

"How often does Eddie have them?"

"Every two months or so. It's not on any regular pattern, just whenever she decides it's time for one."

"Hopefully, I'll get to see a few of them before I leave."

"And I would be more than pleased to escort you to any of them."

Nikola laughed and said, "These parties don't seem like the type of affairs that require an escort."

"I suppose not, but I would like to take you out sometime."

"I think I could be talked into that. Shall we dance?"

"I'd love to," Alan said, as he followed Nikola to the dance floor. A fast song had just started which forced them to dance a few feet apart, as Nikola had planned. They mingled with the other dancers slightly, but Nikola didn't let herself get too far away from Alan since she wanted to keep an eye on him. Even though his movements were angular and self-conscious, he seemed to enjoy himself on the dance floor. Nikola watched him observe the other dancers around them and mimic some of their dance styles. She couldn't watch unobtrusively for very long, however, because every few minutes his eyes would return to her face, directly to her eyes. They danced through three full songs before she excused herself and slipped into the kitchen.

Nikola leaned back against one of the kitchen counters and let out a long sigh. She hadn't realized how tense she was, until now, when she was finally able to relax unobserved. She stood there and took a few deep breaths before moving again.

While Nikola was getting more wine from the refrigerator, Eddie entered the kitchen. Eddie immediately sidled up to her and said in a low voice, "I noticed you and Alan all evening. How's it going?"

"I don't know. I'm just flirting back to him at the moment."

Eddie lowered her voice even further and asked, "Is it spooky to be so close to a possible killer?"

"I try not to think about that. I'm uncomfortable enough around him, I don't need to scare myself."

"Well you know you can always back out if you think it's too dangerous."

"No, I want to do this. So far I haven't been able to solve my own mystery, but I plan to, and solving other mysteries will refine my skills. I'm looking forward to this. You're right, it is exciting."

"Oh, just watching you guys gets my adrenaline flowing. I feel like I should be ready at any time to jump in and save you."

"Don't be silly, he thinks I'm just flirting with him. Actually, I can't really imagine him doing anything at all. He doesn't seem forceful enough to do anything that violent. But I guess you never know."

"Well, be careful woman. I've grown very attached to you over this past week and I don't want anything to happen to you."

"You don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself."

The two women exchanged smiles and dove back into the party. Nikola talked, danced and flirted with Alan for several more hours, until three in the morning, by which time they were both getting obviously tired. The party was still going strong and for the past hour or so, Nikola had been feeling trapped. She had had more than enough of Alan and was looking for an escape, but she had promised Eddie to stay the night and help clean up. She was relieved when Alan started talking about leaving.

"I really have to go, I'm expecting a phone call early tomorrow and I want to be awake for it. You look kind of tired yourself."

"Yes, I'm afraid to say that I am. I don't have the kind of energy that Eddie and her friends have."

"Me neither, but I don't want to leave you - I was having such a good time... I hope you don't think this improper, but I'd like to invite you to come home with me. I fix an incredible Sunday brunch."

Nikola laughed and said, "It's funny that you ask about impropriety in this setting. I didn't think that anything could be considered improper here. Thank you for the invitation, but I promised Eddie that I would stay until the end of the party and help her clean up."

"Perhaps I can interest you in Sunday brunch anyhow. My phone call should be over by nine o'clock in the morning. Anytime you want to come over, you'd be more than welcome to. I'd really like to see you again."

"Thank you, that's very sweet of you. Brunch sounds wonderful, but I'm not sure that I can get there before noon the way this party's going."

"Why don't we say one o'clock then?"

"One o'clock sounds fine. Where do you live?"

Alan pulled out a fancy silver-plated pen and a small pad of paper. As he stood there writing, he looked even more out of place than usual, his dress shirt and trousers clashing with the jeans-clad people around him. When he had finished writing his address, phone number and directions, he pulled the sheet off the pad and handed it to Nikola.

"I'm really looking forward to your visit," he said.

"So am I," Nikola lied.

When he leaned forward to kiss her goodbye, she expected a friendly peck on her cheek, and was quite surprised when he took her completely into his arms and gave her a long, wet, open-mouthed kiss. It took all of her self-control not to squirm away from him. She was relieved when he finally finished, what seemed like an eternity later.

Once he was gone, Nikola took a moment to calm her nerves and body, and sought out a friendly face. She found Donna sitting on the couch by herself, and went to join her.

"Hi Donna, are you enjoying yourself?"

Donna looked up and her eyes opened wide when she saw Nikola. "Nikola! Get down here," Donna said as she grabbed Nikola's hand and pulled her down to the couch. "You spent the whole evening with Alan. I never expected such dedication. Did you find anything out?"

"No, I didn't even ask him any questions related to it. I thought it would be best to develop a rapport before I started asking pointed questions."

"Oh, of course, you're right. I'm just so anxious about the whole thing. How did it feel talking to him? Were you nervous?"

Nikola giggled. "Yes, to tell you the truth, I was a bit nervous, but I tried not to think about it too much. After all, he might not be guilty of anything."

"Yes, but he could be a murderer. I couldn't see Martha holding down Marty and shooting him up."

"I couldn't see either of them doing it, to tell you the truth. I can't imagine what goes through someone's mind to bring them to the point where they can take another person's life." 

Donna looked down at her lap, giving the impression that she was fighting off tears once again. "You don't know how many times I've been thinking about that. For all the murders I heard about on the news before this, I never once wondered why anyone would do it, and now that's all I can think about. Why anyone would do it, especially to Marty."

Nikola put her hand on Donna's shoulder and said, "From what you've said about him, and from that letter, I have the impression that Marty was a very caring man. Even the best of us sometimes have the misfortune to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. If you can, you should be thankful that you had as much time with him as you did. Many people never find anyone that they can be that close to."

"I know you're right Nikola, but it's still so hard..."

"Well, don't worry, I'll definitely find out something tomorrow. I'm going to his place for brunch in the early afternoon, and a person's apartment can be very revealing about its occupants. Hopefully I'll be able to learn a lot."

"That would be great - I really hope so."

"So how's Brian? I haven't seen him since you came in."

"Oh, he's around here somewhere. He wouldn't leave without me."

"He seems quite taken with you."

Donna giggled and said, "Yeah, he does seem to have a crush on me, doesn't he?"

"Whenever I see you, you're together."

"We do spend a lot of time together. It's really been nice having him there during all of this. He's been really supportive."

"Were you close before?"

"We were friends. We weren't as close as we are now, obviously, but we couldn't help running into each other since he lives across the hall."

They were interrupted by Eddie, who walked over and joined them. "How are you guys doing?" Eddie asked.

"We're okay," Donna replied.

"I can't believe he's gone," Eddie moaned as she collapsed into the couch next to Nikola.

"Who's gone?" Donna asked.

"Dave," Eddie replied.

"Who's Dave?"

"This absolutely magnificent looking guy that I've been harboring a crush on for a month, but apparently the feelings are not mutual."

"But I saw you two together earlier in the evening," Nikola said. "You seemed to be getting along very well."

"Yeah, but that was before Paula showed up," Eddie said with a smirk. "Once Paula showed up it was all over. I guess those guys are meant for each other, though. They're both the ones that everybody else is after."

"Well Eddie, the party is full of men, and the night is still young," Nikola suggested.

"How very true," Eddie said as she stood up and straightened out her clothes. "Would either of you like to join me for a turn on the dance floor?"

"I think Donna needs one more than me."

"Oh no," Donna said, shaking her head. "I'm not moving. In fact, I think I'm going to be taking off soon. As soon as I can get Brian to walk me home."

"Well then I guess it's just you and me, Nikki."

"Okay, I'm right behind you."

Nikola followed Eddie right into the middle of the crowd on the dance floor, and was pleasantly surprised when the rest of the dancers naturally rearranged themselves to accommodate them. Nikola caught her second wind on the dance floor, as she and Eddie twirled and laughed from partner to partner through more songs than Nikola could keep track of. After a while the music seemed to blend together into one long melody that rose, fell, twisted, and changed shapes as it flowed, taking the dancers with it. While Nikola knew it was late, the night seemed endless, completely encompassed by the party, with time standing still. The spell was broken, however, when she noticed the sky outside changing from the dark yellowish-gray of a city night to the deep purple of early dawn.

"It's sunrise!" Eddie squealed as soon as she saw a bit of light coming in through the windows. "We must move it upstairs. I'll grab my box and some tapes."

Nikola looked at Eddie quizzically and said, "Upstairs? Isn't this the top floor?"

"Of course! This is the perfect night for dancing on the roof at sunrise. Just like the old Surrealists."

"What a refreshing idea, I could use some outside air."

"Follow me."

Several other people in the party looked around quizzically when the music stopped, but they blindly followed the flow up the emergency stairs to the roof above. By the time the sun had a chance to peek above the horizon, the whole party was on the roof, dancing below it.

After sunrise, people started slowing down noticeably and scattering. Those who were leaving, left. Those who were staying, and those who had collapsed too early to make the decision, were lying in heaps around Eddie's apartment. Even Eddie couldn't find a spot on her own bed, so she and Nikola curled up on one of the rugs.

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